From the sounds of it, all you're doing is pressuring him and putting him on the spot which is making him retract even more, in more ways than one; I say this from experience. If he's anything like me, and if you're anything like an ex of mine, your approach will make things worse. Focus on the relationship more than sex and work on getting closer to him, emotionally, and romantically, if he doesn't reciprocate, then something went wrong at some point, and I'd say it's probably time to move on.

You being upset that he (assuming he's telling the truth) isn't into that thing, is unrealistic; it's a symbol of respect, and means FAR more.

I also agree with what most of Big Mama said, if not everything.