Oh Rainbow this is so hard. I can feel your frustration. It is an addiction, therapy is an addiction but only if we let it.
Maybe you can try look at it from a different angle, you know looking up t is bad for you and it hurts you and if you knew that a piece of fruit had gone bad would you still eat it anyway? Try to be kind to yourself and do things that make you happy and not so frustrated.
I can see how you think you don't know your t anymore. She knows everything about you but yet she is getting a divorce and her life is changing, you are afraid she is changing, maybe? This would worry me too Rainbow!
But I am sure t can still be the same t you love.
How about when you feel the urge to google t wrote down those feelings and urges that make you want to google her. Look at them closely and try understand them, is some part of you jealous of your t and her life?
Every time you get the urge to google and you resist the impulse reward yourself with something you love. It's hard and I can so relate to your post , I just wish it was easier for you!