Hmm, thanks for the post thunder. I really appreciate it.

I guess it could be that. I never really thought it of like that haha. I did have a competition recently that I didn't do as well as I would've liked. But I didn't think I was beating myself up that badly..maybe it was worse than I thought?

Do you think the feeling have having to "kill" it in order to "save" it meant anything at all?

Also, I apologize for the language in the post (I just wasn't thinking when I copied it from a message that I sent to a friend) And for not putting the trigger tag! (I just didn't know I was supposed to hah).

Thanks!