Quote:
Originally Posted by PAYNE1
Hi! I have read your story. I know you want to be hopeful about your future with him, but I have my doubts. Are you sure you love him? Do you need him to stay married to you because of finances?
Before you get too carried away with planning for him to get help and return to you, I suggest you talk to him. You two do have a terrible history together. Remember, too, that he has not been officially diagnosed. Unless he agrees to go into counseling with you, then I say, "Move on." If possible, I think you need to talk to a counselor about the situation. Okay?
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I was trying to give some highlights and probably wrote too much. He takes words literally, seems to go through motions rather than actually experiencing empathy or remorse, can recite verbatim any line from a movie he watched once, fixates on one subject and researches it to death, refuses to postpone fixing a minor problem until the next day so he can enjoy the evening, etc.
No, I don't need to stay married for finances. More convenient, sure, but I started dating him when he was unemployed. I also know he can't hold a job, so it is definitely not for the finances. He had a low credit score, collections, no savings, no job, and lived in his best friend's house when we were dating. These would have been turn-offs had I known earlier, but I fell in love with him first.
Counselor said he is immature, disrespectful, untrustworthy, and doesn't want to grow up. I concur. It was the verbatim quotes, fixated on a subject before he can move to the next, taking words literally, inability to see chores around the house that need to be done, getting really upset if we leave the house three minutes after the scheduled time, and being able to snap out of a bad mood immediately and confused why I'm still upset.