Okay... so I've gotten myself into a bit of a pickle...

At school we have a choir for 'regulars' and a specialized arts program.... obviously I wouldn't have gotten myself into this pickle, but my teacher overheard that I do dance and that I sing and had me audition for the specialized arts program... I didn't know what it was really for in the first lace so... meh. But now I'm in specialized arts and there's this big performance at school and I'm expected to have two solos and do the choreography for the dance portion...

I have this thing about people not liking me or getting upset with me so I don't want to tell her that I don't want to do it... she's going to be so disappointed in me... but see, I feel like just not showing up would make her even more disappointed and AHH!!!! I have no idea what to do... and I don't get too panicky about doing it in front of my class mates because there are only six... our school is really small.... and we're so close... like family almost... but in front of the teachers and principal and parents and other students... I just don't think I can... at least not without having a panic attack first...

My best friend is the only person who knows about my social anxiety issues and she said she's willing to take my solos and help me talk to our teacher, but that doesn't help the fact that I'll feel like I'm letting EVERYONE down and I know it's not even rational but I can't stop thinking that my trousers will just fall right off in front of people or I'll wet myself or my stupid pre-pubescent voice will go and crack and I'll sound like an idiot or I'll fall on my face or my hair will look horrid or something like that.... I even kind of feel like everyone will be more disappointed in me if I do go and totally fail than if I don't and everyone else will do perfect...

I just....

I'm stuck.

help maybe? If you have any suggestions? Sorry for taking time out of your day, but ILY and thanks for reading anyways.
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