So my therapist and I have been discussing this topic for a while now and still haven't really come up with a good answer...

What came first - the depression or the ED?

I mean, here's my thought: I definitely think you have to be depressed to some degree to decide to starve yourself... but enough to really call it depression? I'm not sure... I really think it's kind of a vicious cycle...

You're slightly depressed... most likely pretty upset with what you're seeing in the mirror... so you decide to cut out some foods... you see the numbers going down... you get SUCH a high, almost euphoric, feeling every time they get lower... then you reach a plateau.... OH NO!!!! So you find yourself so upset... so you cut out more food... you lose more... the euphoric feeling gets stronger every time you cut out more and lose more... eventually you're eating practically nothing... and you're so mad at yourself... "Why did I have to be this fat? She can be perfect and thin and beautiful without starving herself and here I am not even that perfect and I have to do this..." so you go looking for that euphoric feeling again... and before you know it, you're addicted...

So it's pretty much just a cycle... but a cycle has to start somewhere... where did it start? Let me know your thoughts!!! Thanks for letting me waste your time!!!
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