Quite honestly I didn't know what to think when I first read your post... I had to read it twice to be sure of what I was reading... but I don't hate you and I don't think anyone else here will either...your posts do matter...

Your thoughts are your thoughts...posting is all good... you haven't taken up room....I am sorry you are tortured in your dreams... you deserve to sleep peacfully too...

Stick around... you might find acceptance here... Faith