I know this is a stupid fear, but it really worries me and is mixed in with my reasons for leaving T.

I know I sound so stupid, but I get so frightened that my T is going to die and it will be suddenly. When I hear on the radio that an elderly woman has been in a car crash in my city; I'm straight on google, even if I'm at work. I worry all the time that she's going to have a stroke or heart attack; I know she's in her 70's and that's relatively young, but most if my family die a lot younger and elderly ladies in England get put in a care home, ran by the NHS around her age.

I worry about her sharpness as a therapist and don't want to put her through any more of my drama.

I panic that when I knock her door, someone else will answer.

I know this sounds so stupid. it isn't something I can talk to her about as she's told me before that ageing is a challenge for her.

Has anyone experienced similar?