Quote:
Originally Posted by WhiteClouds
Random thought. The tricky thing about transference and disclosing it to your clinician, it always seem to shift back to.. Those are your emotions, you made it up, it's all in your head. Anyone else noticed it? I've read several posts and someone will say, "maybe YOU'RE attaching that emotion, feeling, etc". Nooo, maybe there is some attraction, connection there. The dangerous part is the clinician can easily state some psycho jargon putting it back on the client. Only for the purpose of protecting his job. There are so many dimensions to human interaction. Not only psychological. Spiritual, emotional, physical, sexual. You can not rationalize everything way. Some things are simply are.
It kinda bothers me how people seem to want it to be a fabrication of one imagination. smh I guess that is what they are taught.
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I disagree with a reductive type therapy - where everything is reduced back to the past and transference - I feel it is often convenient for the therapist but very unhelpful for the client. Transference occurs naturally inside and outside of the therapy relationship. Therapy can get hold of the transference and use it to help us put the bits of the jigsaw into place. A therapist who really understands transference will probably never even use the word - he or she will just 'be' with it, use the relationship with the client to understand it - which we don't get 'out there'. The transference is a way to understand, not to blame. I agree - 'some things just are' - or as freud put it so famously 'sometimes a cigar is just a cigar!' I don't see it as a fabrication of our imagination - it is
our truth - but not necessarily fact. I can't see how teaching anyone that transference is a fabrication of ones imagination could be helpful at all. If a therapst spoke to me in that way I would know he or she had not really got a feel of tranference and how painful it can be - it would feel it comes from a thinking (clinical) place rather than from a feeling (experience) place. I certainly have never been taught that.
I wonder if perhaps there is a difficulty for you right now regarding how it feels in therapy? Or your experiences in therapy? The transference feels like something very negative - something that can be used to hurt you? That must be very painful for you. Have any of the things you speak about happened to you in therapy?
We all have bad days - therapists too! And sometimes we get it wrong and cause pain. Sometimes we see something as a transference because we are defending something painful for ourselves (our own transference) - because we are human. But the healing part is when we can say 'I am sorry, I got it wrong' - that can go a long way to mending the rupture. We have to be able to stand back and be open to seeing what has happened - then we are in a better place to not use reductive techniques to defend ourselves.
Best wishes
Moon
