Dear T,

I wish I hadn't asked now. I'm sure you're telling the truth about being booked up that day. I appreciate you apologising. But I wish I hadn't asked, because then I wouldn't have to reason with the nasty little voice in my psyche that wants me to believe that you don't care and you think I'm pathetic.

You said I needed to matter more to myself. I'm trying, really. And I'm trying not to take this personally. I am trying. It's really hard though.