Thank you Payne1 for your response and your time for reading through this craziness. Craziness is probably not an appropriate term but in retrospect I'm surprised of what I read even though its still all real and accurate. You're right I have to accept and be less harsh about my past. I am a hypocrite sometimes and say the same thing to people "I know you wont like this but..." Seems like once in a while concise advice helps a lot and gets through the day and mood stage. I will consider what I post and where Ill post in the future. Thanks again. All the best