(((winkynjr)))) - I'm very sorry you're swamped with emotions and in physical pain as well. Do you have a therapist or in treatment? Is it this recent verbal thing that's made you feel more desperate? Good for you in remembering you have a son depending on you. I can relate to feeling very frustrated, but try to wait and calm down because we don't make good decisions when we're very upset. Would taking some slow deep breaths help? Do you have anyone like a friend to call? We're here to listen so hang in there.