(((skooby))) I have to agree with AS, when I find this place I was almost going away for ever; now, I'm here everyday, sometimes more time than others, but what you are going to find is people who really cares, who are willing to listen.
I'm one of them. And I'm sorry, I have no idea how to help you, specifically in your life right now, but I know, you reading replies of your post, is going to be one step further to your healing process.
Welcome!!! hang in there!