Thank you for the thoughtful responses.

I do feel bad for emailing my T a rather angry email about what she said about my co-worker and I. Even though she was wrong (and this is partly because she was confusing my co-worker with another woman I work with), I felt like I was pretty harsh with her, and her reply was almost immediate and very apologetic. So part of me feels badly for being so harsh with her.

I guess according to the people on this forum I have a drinking problem. The thing is, is that you can tell me over and over again that I have a drinking problem (which my T has been doing), but if I don't think I have a drinking problem, if I don't actually feel that I do, then I am not going to want to do anything to change it. I was able to overcome my ED and my pill problem because I genuinely felt they were problematic and really wanted to stop them. I don't feel this way about my drinking. I do acknowledge that there very well may come a time in the future that I think to myself, "This has to stop," but right now I completely don't feel that way. It was the same thing when I was addicted to Vyvanse. If someone had told me when I first started taking them that I should stop and I had a problem, I would not have listened. It took me recognizing that I had a problem and that it was interfering with my life to want to stop.

I guess what I am going to do is try and not drink until I see my T on Tuesday and take my Zoloft, because I feel bad about being angry with her. But that's the thing. There have been times when I have gone out with friends and haven't drank, but the only reason I did it was because of T. It wasn't because I wanted to do it for myself, and so I never continued not drinking.

I guess my worry is that T will continue to devote large amounts of time to this when I want to be talking about something else that is important to me. And not because I want to avoid the topic, but because I have other things I want to tell her (I only see her 45 mins/week, so devoting 20 of those precious minutes to her talking to me about my drinking is time wasted for me.)

Also, talking about terminating with my T is really upsetting to me. I have finally reached the point in our relationship where I can actually let myself believe that she is not going to leave (and it took a while for that to happen), so when people say she should not see me anymore or I should find another T is really really upsetting for me because I have worked really hard to let myself believe that she is not going anywhere.