Dear T,

I miss you tonight /: was hoping to push the transference crap far away from myself and I have been fairly successful compared to before BUT it's kind of kept me still and not progressing.... I don't know if I can really tell you about it either. It's too uncomfortable. I dont think you'd understand. I think you might push me away. I'm so sad about it all and feel like I f'd it up too much and need to "start over" again. Everything is just too big, there's too much. I can't get it back to good. I wish you were involved but its like you're on the outside looking in...I only let you see what I want you to see and I don't know how much else you're picking up on...I'm sorry