Dear (ex-)T,

During today's session, between bouts of dissociating and trying my damnedest not to cry, I kept wanting to ask, "Are you new? Someone actually let you have a license to practice? What the hell is going on here."

As your (ex-)client of six years, I thought I'd give you some pointers:

1. Have a discussion with your client about your thoughts about ending more than two days in advance of a final session. Not by email.

2. Don't tell your client five days before your last session, "I'll be here, whatever you decide."

3. Do not tell your client who is asking you why you decided to terminate him/her, "I don't feel like this was my decision." Own up to the fact that you are disallowing your client from returning, against her/his will.

4. Do not make the final session a defensive fight about whose perspective is right. Empathize with your client.

5. Anticipate how your client might respond to being blindsided with termination and, I don't know, maybe try to explore that with with him/her.

6. Stop citing ethics. You are not acting ethically right now.

7. Do not tell a client, "If we can't agree and had another session, I imagine it would be more of the same." Here's a thought: offer some alternative ways to end. Here, I'll even give you some words for this, "I'm sorry that after our years of work, things are ending this way. I know that we're having a hard time agreeing on ending, but I'd still like to honor the good work we've done by figuring out how to say goodbye."

8. Go ahead and skip saying, "You seem to need [your statement that I chose this ending] to be true."

9. Recall that this client, whom you've known for a very long time, has struggled with thoughts of suicide forever. Think to yourself, "Gee, my client said this experience was traumatic, maybe I should ask her if she's feeling safe."

10. And regarding said statement about trauma, don't make some dipshit comment like, "We'll, I guess that trauma will just sit there and do what trauma does inside of you." What the eff, T?

Clearly I'm still pissed. My session was a train wreck from hello. The hurt feelings keep bobbing up to the surface now and then. But right now I mostly just want to shake her.