Quote:
Originally Posted by ultramar
I guess, mourning the loss of your real mother-daughter relationship and your role as the child in that relationship... I feel like maybe this is connected to your relationships with your T's, the tenacious holding on to that idealized relationship, and your role in it, as it's transferred to the T's. Of course I could also be spouting mumbo jumbo... In any case, it occurred to me to look up the stages of mourning:
Typically, the seven (7) stages of grief are described as:
- Shock or Disbelief
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Guilt
- Depression
- Acceptance and Hope
This is a link to an explanation of the stages on WebMD: Stages of Grief: How to Cope With Grief and Loss
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Thanks, ultramar. My Mom died in 1983 but I don't think I ever mourned her death properly. When I saw my first T, a few months after she died, I never even mentioned her death! Well, I did when I read a list of why I was depressed, bnut it was hidden amongst other things and my T missed it! Maybe I'm still in denial! No, that couldn't be. Probably depression. My Ts did help me, and get me to write letters to my Mom, and write back as to how I think she'd answer. I did that with my current T too, and I made a collage about her, and talked about her.
I don't feel like I ever switched from child to adult with my Mom, though. When she was sick, I didn't want to be with her; it was too hard, and I shut down. I wasn't communicative to anyone about her being sick and dying. In later years, my Dad, who remarried, talked about my Mom in a distant sense, like she wasn't even my Mom and his wife for 40 years. That upset me a lot.
I read my T letters my Mom wrote to me when I was 11 years old and was at overnight camp. They're touching. At least she got to be a grandmother but not for very long. Many of my friends even now still have their Moms. Losing a Mom is hard. I didn't even realize until now that Mother's Day is this Sunday. I know it's hard for many who don't have loving relationships with their mothers. It's also hard when you don't have a mother anymore.
I don't think I can give up PC. I like to write to make up for keeping everything inside of me for so many years. Maybe this is instead of writing my book that I want to write.