I am so sorry. It's a line in the sand they just shouldn't cross but it sometimes scares me how broken and human T's are. I would never excuse what your T did, however. But the remaining attachment must hurt and I am so sorry.

I had a scary moment early in therapy where my T, in an effort to impress me, almost crossed a different line. He wanted to tell me the story of a famous person, possibly a conservative politician from what I gathered, and how this person was fired on day 1 of therapy. I was in the awkward position of having to remind him that even assholes deserve anonymity. He backed off and never told me who it was. That is the only time I had to set the boundary, but it must not be a patient's job to do so.

I don't mean to compare my minor situation to yours, I guess I just want to say I think I understand how this stuff can happen. I love my T and I think if he wanted to be intimate it would be hard for me to refuse, even though part of me might know he is being abusive. I hope you can find an ethical T who specializes in treating those abused by other T's.

It is still a loss and I feel for you. Take care.