Haha, never heard that one before. Makes sense though doesn't it.

I've been on a vicious cycle for years. Go on medication, go to therapy, go to doctor. Stop going to doctor, stop going to therapy, stop medication. All at different times in different order.

To be honest I am beginning to question whether the therapy is helping too. I mean yeah, it's good to have someone to vent to. But after sitting there watching their deadpan faces seem unamused while you tell your life story for the fiftieth time in a row it's kind of pointless and frustrating.

The meds on the other hand, they either work or they don't. If they work it can stave off the suicidal thoughts and keep you on a somewhat even note.

I am certainly not trying to tell anyone what do to, but I can definitely understand your reasons for deciding this. I wish you the best of luck!