I am feeling lonely lately. I dont recall a time when I felt lonely, per se. Alone yes. But lonely, not so much. I am someone that has always enjoyed my own company and didnt mind doing stuff on my own.

Lately, though, I have been feeling that companionship is important and something I would like to incorporate into my life, but I dont know the first way to go about it in an organic way. No dating sites or group things sound appealing.

I find myself enjoying my own company in many instances much more than the superficial company of others.

In fact there are many times that I would rather just spend time at home with my cat than hanging out with the people I meet who bring zero to the table for me. Sad but true.

I dont know if it is because there is something really "wrong" with me or if I have just grown out of certain types of personas and personalities (mostly faux tbh). It is incredibly boring for me to hang out with terribly superficial people. It is a yawn. And frankly I have little patience for it. And I really dont care. It is hard to like a fake person.

I would like to have company and be in the company of people, but nothing applies from my past any longer. Harder still is that the things I love I do not have the funds to do so it makes things complicated.

I have done the whole volunteer thing for a good portion of my life, and frankly, I am just not interested in doing it anymore. It is very rewarding but it is exhausting. And pretty thankless.

(Really pitiful to admit, too, but I find myself missing my ex a little bit. We were totally wrong for each other and not a good match at all and I have to keep reminding myself of that. You know you are lonely when you miss something that was not good. At all).

There has to be a way, though. I will keep working on it and report back )