I can't imagine what you are going through. I had a good friend years ago whose son was autistic and she had no help with him. I know she struggled alot.
I am sure there must be a way to compromrise with this.. you all just haven't found it yet. I'll pray about it for you. Church would be a great idea so you can be spiritually strong while going through tough times.
I hope things get better soon and that you work it out... keep us updated.peace,Faith