Quote:
Originally Posted by blackwhitered
I know I was dangerous without meds, but there are some aspects of my illness that I wish I still had... It's really been bothering me to the point that I really want to go off my meds, even knowing I could hurt myself or others.
The most notable thing I miss were these two friendly hallucinations I had... I don't know, knowing that the meds are stopping me from seeing them just makes me feel like a murderer. I have had other hallucinations in the past like this that have gone away permanently on their own, and I'm afraid that if I don't go off my meds soon enough the same thing will happen to these two. Can anyone relate?
The other thing I miss is my hypomania (I'm bipolar type). I think that speaks for itself.
I also had some delusions and voices that I sometimes miss, but to a lesser extent.
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I went through this about a year ago, my people were very friendly and had distinct personalities and I honestly felt like I was missing them and its hard because they were idealized unlike real people. Plus their focus was solely me which also never happens in real life. So I get what you're saying. But once you get to a point where you are truly healthy just the thought of going back becomes scary. You will get there.