Just discovered this thread and wanted to bring it back.

what if, after long, truly honest, & careful thought, you refuse the idea that you have VM but yr T is just hung up on it? therapy is teetering on this issue.

SAWE: I do not think of myself as a victim. I was one, once, yes; but no more. In fact I take good care to make sure that I am not one now.
T: And by doing that, you prove that you think of yourself as one.

SAWE: If a person goes running, and goes through a bad area, and is mugged, will she run that route again? Very doubtful. But if not, is she showing victim mentality? I would say not.
T: (no answer)

SAWE: If a person hires a contractor and he collects money claiming the job is done, and it isn't, is the homeowner likely to hire him again? And if she doesn't - or does! - is she showing victim mentality? I would say not.
T: (no answer)

I am SO tired of wrangling about this.