Hey! I'm sorry things are so bad for you right now. You mentioned going to church; you might want to consider this again. It's really helped me. The only thing I don't like about it is when you try to talk to someone and all they want to tell you is to pray about it and it will miraculously go away. I love God and I also believe in prayer. But there's some things you have to have people to help you with. I am only 19 and am not yet married or having kids but if I can do anything to help you, let me know! You'll be in my prayers!
Nicole