Hello IceCreamKid: You're absolutely right. I grew up at a time, in a place & with a family where you didn't share your problems, or your family problems with any one. You were expected to just "buck-up". And if you didn't you became the object of ridicule. So, for the first 50 years or so of my life, I lived in complete denial & just kept scraping by.

I'm sure it must have been apparent that I was having difficulty, but no one ever said anything or did anything to help (including my parents.) So my inclination to hide was reinforaced. I've written a number of times that if denial were blankets, I'd have been crushed by the weight! However, once I made my first serious suicide attempt, the cat was out of the bag, so to speak. After the 2nd one, it really became hard to deny.

But now that another year & a half has passed, it seems I'm right back where I started. (That pile of blankets is starting to feel pretty darn heavy again- LOL!) It's just something that I simply don't seem to have the capacity to shake. In fact, writing this gives me an idea for a new thread which I think I'll put up shortly.

You're correct too that it becomes difficult to distinguish between aging & aging with mental illness. I have quite a few short-term memory problems. I don't know if these are primarily just age-related or if they're more related to the effects of long-term depression & anxiety & psych med's. In reality, it's probably a combination of all of these. This would also make an interesting topic for a new thread. Maybe I'll write that one too!

Thanks for commenting!