I agree that this is so hard. My feelings are for my male pdoc and I go to a female T for therapy separately. I had such a hard time coming to grips with this whole issue. I kept my feelings and pain from my female T all along, but finally told her. And I didn't expect it, but talking about these feelings with another T really helped. A lot. It is true that the "relationship is strictly t/client" line is incredibly frustrating. But now I can see why it is so necessary and can be likened to relationships with people in many other areas our lives. As a professional, my pdoc knows that saying anything about what might happen if he wasn't my provider isn't appropriate and in the long term, wouldn't be helpful. I couldn't wrap my brain around this concept for 5 years. But when I finally after all this time talked to my female T about it, it clicked. I am in a masters program for counseling and maybe that helps too, because I see it from the other side and it is different from what I thought. They teach us not to be dismissive of feelings or to write them off as imaginary - that is condescending. But, acknowledging feelings of attraction could fuel a fire and be harmful. No matter how well you T knows you, there is no way for them to predict your reaction, nobody could. And their job is to help us cope in the outside world better and on our own, to not encourage dependence on them. Engaging is diaglogue about what if or what could be can open the door to pain and heartache. By not doing this they are showing love. So maybe they can't say how much they care, but they can absolutely show it by doing what is best for you. When you truly love someone, you want what's best for them, even if it's not what you want for yourself.