dear t, i want so much to text you right now and ask for an appointment sooner than next week. I don't know why I feel such churning inside right now. We had a great session yesterday, I had some good insights and you helped me feel better about some stuff I shared, I didn't expect to feel this way today, therapy is so hard sometimes, maybe it was the totally bizarre dream I had last night, I don't know what is wrong with me. I feel like a big fat mess right now. And it doesn't help that I miss you so dam much at this moment. Why is it so hard to ask for what I need. I did it before, but now I'm finding it impossible to do it again. I want to call in sick today and just climb back in bed and hide under the covers all day.