Nope didn't like the article, I think the author also makes a lot of assumptions that aren't necessarily true. People prefer to stay in the victim mode because its less difficult? Oh yeah its so easy going through life feeling anxious, on edge and like you have to watch your back all the time. So yeah I entirely disagree with the premise that its a conscious choice.
and just had to point out a couple of things:
Quote:
Being a survivor is a conscious decision. It is not something that just happens.
Make the decision to no longer sulk in self-pity and feel that the world is out to get you when you experience disappointments.
Instead of being miserable when things don't go the way you wanted, ask yourself what you can do now.
Don't immediately give up and start wallowing in grief. Keep working toward your desired outcome no matter how many times you get rejected or have doors slam in your face. This applies to life's challenges as well as facing the long and emotional road to recovery after being the victim of a sexual assault or trauma.
Being a survivor is a state of mind. A survivor keeps going in the face of adversity. A survivor must cultivate the tenacity of a tired hiker on a steep hill with no peak in sight.
Although it will feel like an uphill battle at first, as you move consciously from victim to survivor you will begin to see small improvements, and over time, it will change the entire quality of your life for the better.
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1. How the hell are you supposed to just stop feeling how you feel? and perhaps its not simple self pity maybe its terrible memories and feelings you remember that you can't get out of your head even if you would rather not dwell on it.
2. What makes the author think it's things not going the way someone wanted that is causing all the misery?...It's much more than that with me and probably others. Its more crap that shouldn't have taken place did and it turned out to be more than I could handle. Also sometimes there is nothing to do now, sometimes things happen and nothing can be done to change it.
3. I don't immeaditly give up and wallow in grief, but yeah I don't have the ability to keep working towards my desired goals regardless of what I am faced with...rejections set me back, doors slammed in my face set me back...sometimes its just too hard to keep going and pushing. I mean something has to give eventaully where does the author think someone like me is going to get the drive, confidence, motivation to just keep pushing regardless of what I face...I have PTSD give me a damn break sheesh. Not to mention what if you don't have a goal because that is how lost you are in life.
I mean what if you're climbing this steep mountain, you've gotten totally exuasted and the peak isn't even in sight...so you decide you gave it your best effort and now its time to go find another goal then you aren't a survivor? I mean I guess I will never be stong enough to be a survivor then because I can only handle so much and due to my PTSD I can handle even less than I used to be able to.