>> if you routinely did bring and refer to notes,
but I don't, not routinely; if I have some thing(s) I need to ask, or talk about, & not leave without it, yes I do write them; but I would say I use them less often, rather than more.

>> why did you start to keep them hidden and not say anything?
I didn't "keep them hidden", i carried them in with me, in the tote bag, and didn't need them. I don't think I have to say whether or not I have them, or have to use them or not; they're my notes after all.
Today I feel like asking her, what am i supposed to do, pin them to my shirt? Bring them out with a flourish and wave them around? Bring them in on a 18/24 card labeled NOTES ? Sheesh, I use a little 1.5x3 spiral pad and I write a few things. Not always that.

>> passive aggressive?
nope, you may be thinking about a meanspirited little dig that appeared higher up in the response list I should say that in five years & two Ts, no one has ever mentioned that I am at all passive aggressive. In fact I've been told not.

>> (i can hear a thought "go ahead, ask about the notes."...)
nope. I didn't even think about them, until she mentioned them.

>> just sounds like you see it as a reason for anger and i wonder why. or were you hurt by the remarks you don't recall? i'm all over the place here
I am too; I posted this thread because she blindsided me so. And time was up, there wasn't an opportunity to ask. Guess I will have to do so

BTW... I came back to the OP to say eighteen reads and no replies becuase I was really puzzled/hurt/concerned about T's last minute comment (whatever T's reasons for saying that, I don't think I will find out that it's good news), and had posted so that my PC support group could prop me up a bit. In down times like that, minutes seem like hours. maybe some of you have been there.
There is no one IRL I could tell about this.
A pity when the snarky comment comes from someone who is capable of so much better; I've seen it.