
May 09, 2013, 02:29 PM
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Azure Rain:
Though personality disorders are usually thought of as "behavioural" or "social" in nature, the biggest indicator is what motivates whatever actions they take. Usually that is harder to decode so they label them based on the usual problems they create for themselves.
Normally with someone who acts in a self-serving manner but doesn't outright fvck up other people's lives, I'd say that they just have enough self-respect not to fall into the dumba55 expectation that they should sacrifice their own comfort for the sake of others.
But your mother clearly makes life difficult for the other people around her, especially if she has been generous... We can't make a diagnosis here, but she reads "egotistical" at the very least. Probably narcissist because she's at least done a good enough of a job to where you were none the wiser all this time. 
Narcissists can give more than any empathetic person, if it will get them what or who they want. Narcissists can be more loyal [superficially, at least]. They can be fun. They can be the most decent & approachable people. But it's with a purpose -- if people trust or need you, you win.
Sincerest apologies for the late reply! Didn't seem like much of an emergency.
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