Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowted
Hi bedobones, thanks for liking my avitar, it is a photo i took a few years ago, so kind of proud how it turned out.
what is it you think you are achieving by 'hiding' a lot of stuff about yourself?
is it worth the sacrifice of being free to be your true self, having peace of mind that friends and loved ones like you for who you really are not a pretend or false you?
it must be very tiring constantly trying to remember what bits you have told to who. life although it may be rocky at first would be much simpler if you were not hiding things.
i hid a lot of stuff for many years, trying to be what people thought i should be and was never happy at all, really depressed, and angry for not being able to be the real me. then i cracked up, and everything i had been hiding away came flooding out, ok i lost a few friends and family in the deluge but i came out the other side far more relaxed, liking who i was- the real me, and i found the friends i have now accept and like me simply for being me.
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Hi Yellowted: Honestly, sometimes I wonder if it's all worth it. If I were in my 20's or 30's or maybe even my 40's & knew what I know now, no it wouldn't be worth it. But when one gets into their 60's where I am things start to look different. At least they have for me. I no longer have the energy to strike out onto a new path. I guess some people do it at my age. But I'm just worn out at this point. I've been married for over 30 years &, were I to suddenly decide to become my "true self" (assuming that I could even figure out what that is- LOL) my wife & I both could be left completely alone in the world if our marriage didn't survive my "transformation."
Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you look at it, I don't have any friends. So I don't have to worry about what I've told to whom. And to everyone I know "professionally" I just remain the person they see in front of them, as do most people. So, the "theoretical"part of this is very complicated (the part about becoming my true self.) But the mechanics of it are pretty simple. I guess maybe that's part of the problem.
