Hi. I don't know what it's like to have an autistic child but I do know what it's like to work with them. I work in special ed and 7 out of my 10 students are autistic in varying degrees of severity. One of our goals in our class is to work on somethng with each kid that will help them at home will help their family because we know how difficult it is to have them the short time we have them we couldn't imagine being a parent. Your job is tough and often thankless but you are your sons tie to the real world if it weren't for you his world wopuld be very dark. Your doing a good job. It's normal to have doubts especially when you have to also deal with the rollercoaster that being bipolar is. Hang in there. I'm thinking happy thoughts for you.