Thanks all for the hugs and such.
I had a really good T session Weds night.
T said that when the ~S~ thoughts come and attack that she wants me to think of something I can say in rote so that I can ward them off and at the same time realize I am in the midst of some major work and grander healing.
For now, I have come up with the following

"Not today! Now go way! I am stronger then you think!"