So I went to my session this afternoon with no agenda at all. My T asked if I wanted to focus on the trauma re: last week and I said no. I just felt like T was making it a bigger deal than I felt comfortable making it...I was watching myself get so freaking difficult! What was my problem? Poor T....

But what surprised me was that, instead, I ended up disclosing how I felt when he took that week off and didn't tell me till last minute. I can't believe I actually did that but it kind of naturally came right out.....he told me that he was sorry and pretty much said/did everything right. My reaction? I felt so riidiculous about it! Like why do I get so needy? Ugh. I told him I didn't know how I was going to get through that 2 weeks, but I made it. Now i created distance between us and locked out my feelings - I'm not sure how to get it back to good. I didn't tell him just how depressed I got but I pretty much let him know it was a way bigger deal to me than he realized.

He told me it was very important that I told him that - it was very important information for him to know.....I just hope he isn't freaked out by my feelings. He didn't act like it at all but my imagination is already running rampant /:

Therapy.is.hard.