How wonderful that your mother supports you. Really, no one in my family will even discuss it. If you are on the Bipolar forum, I imagine you must have some kind of diagnosis...or maybe taken a quiz? The first thing you absolutely need to do is see a therapist. Haha, you thought I was going to say doctor No, see a therapist first. Find one that will get you in quick. Like tomorrow. Then, from there, determine what should be done. If you need to go inpatient the therapist can help you figure that out. If you need to find a Psychiatrist, therapist will encourage that too. Just know this...six days ago, I wouldn't have said any of this, but there is hope. I avoided the Pdoc for over 7 years. And I suffered. Finally I went and got appropriate meds and now I see everything differently and have hope. There is treatment and there is another way. You have to seek it out. Let us know.