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Old May 09, 2013, 10:53 PM
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LearningMe01 LearningMe01 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: Pheonix Arizona
Posts: 360
Quote:
Originally Posted by moonlitsky View Post
It doesn't happen like that where I do therapy! It is love, it is real and it is ok and freely spoken about - but NEVER will it become a relationship outside the therapy room/a sexual relationship - that is damaging, whatever the client may think they need - it is utter abandonment to enter into a sexual relationship with a client. We may be furious about it but that boundary is there to protect the client - and the regressed infant part that we all have, from abuse. It doesn't mean the therapist can't be in there with us, loving us (in a real intimate encounter), but it does mean we are safe. Having sex with a client is incestuous.

It depends if the therapist has done their work - whether they are ok with it or not. If they aren't they will hide behind boundaries that are more for their benefit than their cleints. If they aren't it remains as powerful fantasies in the client's mind and cannot be resolved. In my therapy it is spoken and worked with, allowing me to connect with and feel the infant who has been suffering so long. Yes, it has been agony, it is agony, but because my therapist can work with it and can put herself right in there with me without being afraid or pulling away, I have been able to work through to a better place and the transference is weakening. I am aware of horror stories involving therapists who don't understand and act out or push away - or fuel the fantasies rather than working with them to diffuse them. I love my clients, and if it helps I tell them so - some need that, others don't - all are individuals.

Moon

I love almost everything you wrote here, Moon. But I have to disagree with one thing. I don't believe entering a sexual/romantic/friendship relationship with a former client is always damaging. I do understand how it could be , in many cases. But in some situations, maybe it is just love, nothing to do with therapy, just love. And If you love someone, you want them to know everything about you...so the fact that the therapist knows your "deepest, darkest secrets" shouldn't be in issue. Yes, I understand that it is NEVER supposed to happen. But I feel as though maybe, in some cases, two people will miss a chance at "true love" simply because some psychology board is trying to "protect" them. Of course, I do believe that in most cases it is the client who harbors the "romantic" feelings, and not the therapist...but sometimes I'm a "what if" thinker.
That is simply the way I feel, I'm not saying I'm right or wrong, but I do know what's good for me and what's potentially dangerous for me, I don't need anyone else to tell me what I need.
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Last edited by LearningMe01; May 09, 2013 at 11:08 PM.