Short and Cute - I hope you didn't really mean it when you titled "I guess I really AM and awful Christian!!!" Because you are not an awful Christian.
You are worthy a lot as a person and a Christian. Anyone who would tell you that you are an awful Christian is being very judgmental and more likely that they are the awful ones.

I've heard the whole bit of having depression because of not being right with God or not getting into Him enough. That's just hooey!

Go on and just be yourself! I think you are doing great!