Quote:
Originally Posted by moonlitsky
It doesn't happen like that where I do therapy! It is love, it is real and it is ok and freely spoken about - but NEVER will it become a relationship outside the therapy room/a sexual relationship - that is damaging, whatever the client may think they need - it is utter abandonment to enter into a sexual relationship with a client. We may be furious about it but that boundary is there to protect the client - and the regressed infant part that we all have, from abuse. It doesn't mean the therapist can't be in there with us, loving us (in a real intimate encounter), but it does mean we are safe. Having sex with a client is incestuous.
It depends if the therapist has done their work - whether they are ok with it or not. If they aren't they will hide behind boundaries that are more for their benefit than their cleints. If they aren't it remains as powerful fantasies in the client's mind and cannot be resolved. In my therapy it is spoken and worked with, allowing me to connect with and feel the infant who has been suffering so long. Yes, it has been agony, it is agony, but because my therapist can work with it and can put herself right in there with me without being afraid or pulling away, I have been able to work through to a better place and the transference is weakening. I am aware of horror stories involving therapists who don't understand and act out or push away - or fuel the fantasiesI rather than working with them to diffuse them. I love my clients, and if it helps I tell them so - some need that, others don't - all are individuals.Moon 
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Thank you Moon. Your clients are lucky. I just want to clarify that my love is more emotional for T, along with a need to be held. Guess that could lead to other things & desires for us both, I don't know. Maybe it's not a good idea but I can't help what I feel. I thought once that I could look past it because I really wanted to see him in his professional capacity. I needed his help but I could not stop my feelings from coming through. I understand that every T does not deal with this and, truthfully, I don't want to be "dealt" with. As stupid as it sounds, I just fell for him and thought there was a deep connection between us. Now I see it was just one sided. I feel like a fool. I don't want to hear about "transference". I've come to hate the word. Thankfully, T did not bring it up.