It's not a breaking point cuz that happened already. I keep starting a post about this

I'm not well

But then delete it, it was too long, I said too much.

My fun hypo turned on me. Now I'm irritable dare I say evil. My mind is not being nice, wants me to die. I watched the clock for the decent enough hour (now) to take a couple Klons and lay down. The kids are ok and I'm not going to hurt myself. Older sons surgery wore me out, he's in pain and doc won't give anything stronger. I don't even know if I chose a good doctor. He doesn't seem very good with after care help.

I'm wore out. I feel crazy. These bad thoughts aren't me. The weird stuff I did last week not me. Not who I really am. I'm tired of yelling at myself. Started lamictal - again - last night 12.5mg. Maybe it will help.

The ex bf is weasel ing back in, I'm a sucker for a man in pain. Voice in me laughing at me knowing I wouldn't be strong enough.