It has come to me that my T really doesn't know how to handle
transference, love, or whatever I'm feeling. He is a seasoned
psychologist 35 years, but he told me he had never had someone
proclaim they were in love with him.

When I first disclosed my feeling to him a couple of years ago,
he got quite flustered, almost panicky about it. I was being very
needy, pushing him to tell me how he felt about me. Since then,
we dont talk about it. I'm glad I love him, and I dont feel it gets
in the way of therapy. But, when he goes on his month long trips my
fear of feeling alone comes out and I start panicing and feel so vulnerable,
unsafe. This is what I'm feeling right now. I just told him again I loved him
and like a child that I didn't want him to go, and I was mad at him for leaving
He is used to this from me.

My question is this, when I told him I loved him he said love is a good thing.
But he doesn't know what to do with my love. Huh?? I dont know what to
do with my love for him sometimes, sometimes its beautiful, comforting others
painful but I deal with it.

I want to write back to him what I think he should do with "my love"
It seems like he should know....from a therapeutic standpoint something
to say to me other than that! I feel he should accept it as something
special, something that ultimately helps me, but that would be about me.

It's about his ability to accept my feelings as I know they do affect him
personally. What should he "do" with my love?