I used to feel really guilty and worried that I "should" do something, but then I realized I was only doing it to take the high road. And to not give her more reasons to be negative about me.

I didnt want to give her more reasons to gossip about me, and go crying to my father all the faux N tears.

Since I have been in T and working so hard, I realized it isn't necessary to keep setting myself up. No matter what I do, it is never good enough anyway.

I have to admit, it still hurts a bit (I feel cheated that I missed out on having a real mom), and I actually whited out the date on my calendar and am going to stay in this Sunday so I dont have to be exposed to any surprise pain and/or sadness seeing all the moms with their families.

(And for the moment, I am looking at the positive and I am content being Krazee Kitteh's mama )