Yip. Thats why there's a bottle of rum spending the evening with me... Figured, alcohol amplifies everything tenfold,might as well get drunk enough to let it all hang out now instead f creeping up on me when I least expect it... Not nearly drunk yet, so have a lots of shots to go. Stupid liver of steel.

Hey, is it ok that I'm really apathetic right now? Not since drinking, I mean since before... I just really dont give a shyt. There something sharp under my matress still, and it will help, but I try not to think about it...
Atleast I gave Jordan supper... that has to count even though I've been basically ignoring her since... I did try to reach out irl, backfired as usual. I mean it this time, no more requests fo help or blatant cries for help, sick and fkn tired of the world having selective deafness!