Hello nmz1 and welcome to PC, I'm new here as well. I completely understand what you're going through because your situation resembles mine in a lot of ways. I know it's cliche to say, but please don't be so hard on yourself, life has an interesting trait in that it can drastically change at any time. I still suffer from weight issues along with depression, especially after I had lost 90 pounds for nothing but to gain it right back. If your image is bothering you to the point that you feel uncomfortable about your weight, realize that although the "diet and exercise" lifestyle seems difficult, and media seems to portray it as a punishment, it is not impossible, and the most important thing is to go at your own pace, have fun with it, and never quit. More importantly though, you must love yourself and who you are, you are human. No one contains perfection. Try looking at positives of yourself and not always whats wrong, with that attitude, things tend to improve. Every person deserves a chance at happiness, and although it is hard, you will find it. People really do care, and if you ever think your life has no purpose, think of those people that would be shattered if you were gone. I hope your experience here is a enlightening one!