I have been through this exact feeling. I confronted my T about the whole thing and in the beginning she told me that I was possibly making myself BPD by looking into it so much. But I realized that I do have serious issues and meet 80% of the criteria.

I also don't usually rage on anyone,I do it internally or rage on the wrong people,projecting my feelings.

T don't usually want to work with BPD because 1 they don't really have the knowledge about it and 2 BPD's like myself are constantly quitting impulsively and don't give them the opportunity to figure it out.

I know it's hard and I def understand the fear but you won't know until you talk to your T & try not to self evaluate yourself as well.

Good Luck!!!