Blue - I feel for you. I don't necessarily agree that the bf is worth going back to or letting back in, but you are at a weak moment, and it happens. I did it and knew it was going back to being degraded and abused, but the neediness & loneliness for love & all all the short lasting sweet talking drew me back in. When you're stronger you can decide if he's really right for you.

You're taking care of so many, many things. Putting out fires right & left. Try to take some time for just you, or if people in your area offer you to help with this or that - let 'em! You're a strong woman, even if you feel this way. I think most of us have been there.

If I can help in anyway, even through a keyboard - you ask & it's done. You are an amazing woman and that shines right through even in your despair.

Hugs & warm wishes.