I went the other way and engaged in risky sex because of my early childhood sexual abuse by my mom. I wanted to be in control or repeat my trauma to master it. Now I am a devoted faithful husband after coming to terms with my abuse but I still am hypersensitive. One negative comment, tone of voice or glance by my wife escalates me right to rejection and anxiety that my trust was misplaced. I am grateful that I can still enjoy sex most of the time because I know many of us can't. I used to disassociate during sex but I trust my wife enough to be present most of the time. Good luck and know it's not your fault.