I feel empathy for those with strained relationships with their mothers. I do too. She went through her own **** and was too busy with that to give me anything growing up. Her stance on family was, as far as I could tell, that she just wanted to be left alone. Can't say that's done wonders for my self-esteem, or my self-worth.
I don't feel resentment anymore, though. Mostly I just feel sad. Sad that she's lived her whole life keeping the people closest to her at a distance.
In a sense, Mother's Day is awkward for me. I'm grateful to the woman who gave me life; I know that ever since I got sober and started to reaalize what a miracle life can actually be. But I don't know how to talk to my mom. And when I do, I never know what to say. There's love between us, but it's fractured in places.
Also, Mother's Day is a day of joy and gratitude (for another reason). I'm a birth mom and my son is 10 now, and through his life I've been able to watch him grow, change, and become the wonderful young man I never could have raised, thanks to his amazing parents. So I celebrate his adoptive mom on this day as well as my own mother.
Hope you all have a great weekend no matter how you feel about Sunday.