I am not somebody who connects or attaches to other people. my parents made me that way with the dysfunctional abusive way I was raised. I disowned my dad as part of my healing and in a way cut off contact with my mom as well. she has Alzheimers and doesn't even know who I am so why reach out. I don't feel guilty because my lack of connectiveness prevents me from feeling anything. there is nothing there in those relationships. I wasn't going to send anything for mothers day but then I got an email saying if I sent flowers I could get 1500 bonus miles. I wanted those miles. should have sent the flowers to myself. but part of what irks me about mothers day is having to be grateful for gifts I may not like. I saw the customs slip on my sons gift and he bought me paint. while this may have been thoughtful, I have tons of paint I don't use already so it is hard to get excited about. how do I come off not sounding ungrateful for a gift that im not going to use? im such a b1tch.