Thank you Bonnie. What a great Facebook page. I am going to watch some of the videos now. I haven't read or spoken Italian in a long time since I don't have anyone that speaks it. Especially since my grandmothers have passed. It was nice to read a little bit.
Maybe I need a hobby. I mean not like I have any time for anything else but I would like to find some time even if its for a little while each week.
I took my mothers gift for Mother's Day to my dad today at work. I also showed him what my daughter made for her and he seemed real pleased. I also am sending flowers to her, so who knows what will happen. When I said to my dad, well hopefully she will like everything and maybe reach out, he didn't seem so positive about it. Guess he knows there's no way she will get over anything. It hurts. Actually a lot. Today was a bad day for me. It's been difficult to breathe and I found out my ribs are bruised as well. The pain has been excruciating but I've been trying to occupy myself with teaching my daughter how to read. I am so proud of her. She has been trying so hard. My son has been better with his attitude and has been helping, of course while listening to his incredibly loud music in his ear phones.
I feel like I've done the right thing for Mother's Day. I'm sure she will not agree or find fault in it someway. Probably thinking I should call her. I just don't want to. Well I guess that's not true, I would like to but im still in fear of what if. I just don't want to deal with it now.
I still feel guilty like I'm a monster for treating her this way. I really have to find a way to deal with this conflict and pain.