Welcome to the forums.

Well, you must have at least a small handle on this, since you posted in the right spot!

You say you have been dealing with it forever. Two questions, if you don't mind: how long is forever to you? how have your been dealing with it?

I hope you have a T who is experienced with working with PTSD and it's surrounding issues.

I'm also awake... have a medical doctor's appointment later this morning, and never sleep prior to it: especially now since she kind of "tuned" on me of late.... very triggering.

<font color=blue> meditation is a true way to connect to the Source </font color=blue>